Even though we wear armor on the outside, often we are riddled with fear on the inside. What are we afraid of? The top 10 most common fears are flying, public speaking, heights, the dark, intimacy, death, failure, rejection, spiders, and commitment. Look at that? Rattlesnakes didn’t even make the list! So how can we deal with our fears and get on with our life? Let’s take a look.
You probably weren’t expecting this as a method! If you turn your fear into a cartoon, it’s not so ominous, not quite so scary. For instance, if you’re afraid of the dark, see yourself huddled in the corner as a cartoon figure with one eye peering through your outstretched fingers close to your face. Have a candle tiptoe toward you, and it won’t be dark anymore. It sounds goofy, but by reducing the seriousness of the fear, you might even get to the point where you can laugh at it.
Now that may seem weirder still. Give it a try. Take your fear all the way to the end. Play what-if until the game is over. Let’s say your fear is failure. Maybe you are afraid that you will lose your job, that things won’t work out. So what would happen then? You’d have more leisure time. But what about paying the bills? You’d learn to make-do and to budget your money more carefully. What if you ran out of money? You’d ring the doorbell of your favorite relative with your suitcase in hand. When you take your fear to the next level, asking so-what-then – you’ll take some of the fear out of the fear itself.
Look at the facts. For instance, what if you are afraid to speak in public? Many people are. Even though you may quiver and shake, prepare some comments and give it a try. Often those who give a talk are surprised that no one in the audience realizes how afraid they are. That anxiety can actually become energy, somehow putting more oomph into a talk. Maybe you are afraid of something that isn’t even true – maybe you really are good at giving speeches! Should you need some help with all of this, think about joining a Toastmasters Club nearby where they practice giving speeches and receiving feedback.
That doesn’t mean to love the fear, but to go beyond the fear by focusing on something you love. Should you be afraid of intimacy, think of those who have loved you along the way. Focus on the positive experiences you’ve had with them and bask in the warmth of their fondness. Love and fear cannot exist in tandem, so merely by remembering those who love you, your fear will diminish.
Now you probably think that the oddest one was left for last. If you somehow cannot shake the fear, then bring it along with you. Just don’t let it take over. As they say, deal with what you can change and make those changes; if nothing can be done, then recognize that. Know that the fear is part of your perspective, but it doesn’t need to become your perspective! Ask yourself if there are details of the fear that you can control, that you can change – and then do that.
We all have something we fear – that’s just part of life. We can diminish our fears, though, so that they don’t keep us from enjoying life. Should you have any fears about your business, come join us and we’ll show you how to succeed. Here at SFM, we offer Community, Training, and Support. We’re here for you. Take a look at how by clicking on this link. We’ll show you the steps to take your business to the next level with no fears.